Last night, the husband and I had a long chat with our 11 year old daughter about her life path. She is in middle school, and as this school year ends, she will be in the grade where they are allowed to participate in school activities and sports. I am not sure why 7th grade is the official year that these kids actually get to participate- but that is how it is set up.
My daughter is....something. All parents are proud of their children, but we have dedicated our time and money into her future since the day that she was born. If she has had a dream, we have been there to help her chase it. I love my parents, do not get me wrong- but after school activities, hobbies, and such- that was not their epic win. My daughter just had to do pageants. We did it. Could have purchased a small island for less, but that was her deal. I will be honest- that is one dream that we ended because I simply do not see the justification in dressing young girls up like grown up sex-pots and telling them that they are more beautiful the less that they look like themselves. Major self-esteem booster.
She was accepted into a program for the Academically Gifted in first grade- She has done everything from dissection, computer programming, advanced studies, and violin. Yo-Yo Ma was a household name before he ever played for the president. She knows how to compose music and even has taught herself piano. Years were invested by her time and our wallets- for her to decide that "it's just not her thing." (Insert the sound of hearts crushing here) But that is her deal- Her dreams to chase- or not.
Also, there is cheerleading. I am by no means a chipper person. This is obvious. But my daughter is. And for years beyond money and time- I sat in the stands next to so many fake blonde, fake tanned mothers who are chipper- and sometimes, I was chipper to the point that it ached. Why? Because I am a mom. That is what we do. Rah!
Now that is not her thing. And here comes 7th grade- the D-Day of deciding what you want to do. And it does not seem like it was back in my day- It seems that you have to go into 7th grade as a master (or close to it) of what activity that you want to do.
She was told that in order to try out for cheerleading, she would need to already know how to do a backhand spring. Wow. Really? So obviously, there is no teaching there now- just making a team that will win a championship.
Before, she was a flier. Toss her in the air all day long. She is short and petite- It's perfect. But obviously not perfect enough. She decided it wasn't worth it- to go against girls that have been in gymnastics since they were in pampers and such.
There is also swim team, tennis, volleyball, and golf- Nothing seems to snag her attention. And as much as we love her, our wallet would prefer she decide what her dream is before she chases it-LOL
I want her involved in something. I remember my youth- middle/high school. Nothing to do- parents that really didn't want to schedule around my activities. So I was winning like Charlie Sheen in my spare time. I want more for her- better.
So I basically told her, I wouldn't force anything on her but she needed to pick something and get on it- even if it isn't sports- just something to fill her time. Anything she dedicates herself to would help with getting into college and even though me and her dad are doing well now- It has been one hell of a rough road that I never want to see her have to travel.
Later, she tells me..."Mom, I am afraid to be a grown up." I paused. Thought. What could I say to her? My reply? "Me too, baby."
What did I mean by that? Am I afraid for her to grow up or am I afraid to be a grown up myself? LOL. Both?
Poor kid. I remember middle school. It sucked. And it really is the start of becoming an adult- Most of the classes/activities are a "start now or never" set up. How horrifically scary. Throwing life choices on someone during puberty = no fair.
I remember my mind frame in middle school. I wanted to be a writer- no husband. No kids. Traveling the world alone. Maybe date celebs that most people hated like Marilyn Manson or Neil From MTV's "The Real World-London" and if I had a love child- I would name her Amanda Moonshine- Is this really the "now or never" life choice frame of life?
My poor baby. Growing up. It sucks.
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