Desperate Housewives Vol.2

I assured myself with the fact that I would continue to post on this topic when I made Volume 1. I was correct, as usual. I have to admit, I held on to my growing anguish with this neighborhood before I posted again, so hold on tight.
If you keep up with my status updates on Facebook or my tweets on twitter, then I am sure you know about the pile of dirt that is also known as my side yard. In case you haven't seen these posts- let me sum up.
We happen to be blessed with having the HOA president as our dear neighbor. His yard is epic. A sod heaven that even has sprinklers squirting during a rain storm. He is avid at posting on the neighborhood site just which neighbors need to mow lawns, trim shrubs, or change their parking. (FYI- the parking was an obvious pun at us. We had multiple cars here when the baby was born and to avoid complication things for the mail man by crowding the cul-de-sac, we parked in our own front yard. According to the site, although this was not listed in the bi-laws, he decided that it just looked a bit tacky and was bad for the grass. We don't have grass in the front yard. We have tree roots; massive tree roots.)
Compared to his yard, our yard lacks. Every yard lacks. The White House lacks. I had noticed a random chunking of a stick here or there from his yard into ours. I am not a bitter woman. Plus, my ten year old was in charge of picking up pine cones and sticks- no sweat off of my back. Then, I noticed a bit of dirt covering the side yard. As weeks went by, we noticed more and more magical dirt appearing. I lease, destruction of property would fall on to my deposit, this was becoming a problem. Luckily, several times that I peeked out of my bathroom window, I was able to see him in the act of throwing dirt onto our grass- or what used to be grass. The level of dirt was massive. We took photos and even video taped the proof of this epic wtf of neighbordom.
Each time that we saw our neighbor, not once did he say why he felt the need to place the mound of dirt into our yard. At first, the thought crossed our mind that maybe he was spreading some high end seed our way. A- he is a sod man, b- he would note the gesture verbally. As the dirt grew taller and as his yard continued to get new sod, I realized, this is where he was dumping his yard debris. They do not collect dirt with yard debris in this area. I became.....peeved.
One morning, I noticed the man jiggling the handle to open the gate into my backyard. It would not open. Why, you ask? Too much dirt. So much dirt that the fence gate would not budge. Holy Moses! I called my husband. He found my insanity amusing. The more I tried to calm myself, the more annoyed I became. I had to address this pile of....dirt.
I decided to use my greatest weapon. The skill of words. With a mass email to the HOA President as well as every email listed on the board, I told him just what I thought of the dirt, how if he were doing something nice as spreading seed, it seems he would find the time to tell the dwellers of the home, how I could very well line the side of my home with tacky pink plastic flamingos, and how even though we may be "Simple renters" we still pay for the right of this home and the land that it sets on.
It should not be a shock that his claims were of modest and honest friendly help. He was "washing sod seed" DOWN into the UPHILL mound of dirt that he had created. Sure thing. He personally knows the out of state home owner and is sure that he would not mind his actions. Good for you, bub....I still have the right as home dweller to know what is going on in my lawn, and I do not care whom your friends may be, do not mess with the gate going into my back yard....The ezzle my nizzle.
Shortly after, the HOA site was updated stating that the next meeting will take place this month, in the cul-de-sac right in front of my home. "Bring a chair and a dish to share...." it states..."Renters are welcome but not allowed to vote on or voice any matters or issues of our neighborhood."
I am trying to con my husband into searching out our inner "Joe Dirt" on this day. Grilling in the front yard, some 40's o' beer, some Lynard Skynard... "I's gots just over 4 months on this here lease, yaws sum bishes gunna 'member me."