Desperate Housewife Vol.1

This is titled Volume 1 due to the fact, that I am more than confident that in the future, I will have more rants concerning my Wysteria Lane.

Okay, so I don't actually live on Wysteria Lane; things aren't THAT juicy, but none the less, I am feeling mighty desperate.

I do however know just a few of my neighbors, and so far, they fit into the stereotype of Wysteria Lane.... To the left of me is the older classy lady that has no kids. She is a massage therapist and always looks well put together, perfect yard, husband is the HOA president, offered to cook for us when I was exprecting....We will call her our "Bree". To the right of me is the house full teenagers and animals. She is from Germany (love the accent), she is tan, petite, blonde, and juggles it all...We shall call her our "Lynette".... I suppose being the clumsy melodramatic writer, I am "Susan".....and my issue comes in with, ofcourse, my "Gabby".

Gabby is lovely...drop dead hotness (my husband says she isn't, but then again, he likes living with me and is a smart man)...She is fit, tone, dark skinned naturally, great yard (ofcourse she has a more than a gardener, she has an entire crew- eat your heart out "real Gabby"....)

My problem is not her looks, or her yard...well, maybe a little her yard, but anyway...She was the first neighbor that I met, and I thought she was great, and not to mention, she has a daughter the same age as mine.
Shame, Shame, Shame, South Carolina Gabby....I was a little slow, but I caught up...

Her interest in having a daughter the same age was not so we could sip cocktails on the backporch as the kids played, it was the fact that I already have a house full of kids, so one more shouldn't bother me.....ever...

At first meeting, I didn't mind a surprise play date, but as time went by, day after day, I got kind of tired seeing this kid. Not that she is bad, she is just not mine, and my hands are full enough; thank ya very much....She is awkward to talk to face to face, but can not seem to function with out texting other people, which makes a great play date for my kid.

I ended up, one day, when she showed up at my door- sending my kid to her house with her- ha ha....go me....Nope....backfire...
Within an hour, my daughter was sent home because the kids bumped heads playing and obviously this was a dire matter to her child's head (no concern for my kid's noggin; she was simply dismissed.).

A week went by before she sent her child my way again, and now, she was comfortable enough to just take off, go shopping, get her nails done, go eat- without letting me know she was leaving home; making her kid my problem until she is done enjoying being kid free.

What really gets on my nerves is this...."Gabby" is even too good to wave at the hubby or me when we see her in passing. She just stares at us like we are below her, yet close enough to send her kid to my door whenever she needs "her time" with out so much as a phone call.

So how does one handle this gracefully? How do I inform this lady that I do, indeed, work from home, and that does not mean a non-profit daycare?? How do I not make the cul-de-sac full of tension by not being walked on? How do I con her into taking all 3 of mine while I sit on my backporch sipping cocktails alone??
Feel free to contribute your thoughts.....