"Carry" On

Carry on 
Well I woke up to the sound of silence
(these lyrics snagged me. I hate the silence.) 
The cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight 
(reminds me of our song- Chasing Cars)
And I found you with a bottle of wine 
Your head in the curtains 
And heart like the fourth of July 

You swore and said 
We are not 
We are not shining stars 
This I know 
I never said we are 

Though I've never been through hell like that 
I've closed enough windows 
To know you can never look back 

If you're lost and alone 
Or you're sinking like a stone 
Carry on 
May your past be the sound 
Of your feet upon the ground 
Carry on 

Carry on, carry on 

So I met up with some friends 
At the edge of the night 
At a bar off 75 
And we talked and talked 
About how our parents will die 
(and there is no going back to say goodbye)
All our neighbours and wives 

But I like to think 
I can cheat it all 
To make up for the times I've been cheated on 
And it's nice to know 
When I was left for dead 
I was found and now I don't roam these streets 
I am not the ghost you want of me
(a ghost is all you left me to be) 

If you're lost and alone 
Or you're sinking like a stone 
Carry on 
May your past be the sound 
Of your feet upon the ground 
Carry on 

Woah 
My head is on fire 
(like a ring)
But my legs are fine 
(well not really. I can't walk half the time but you would know that had you kept your promise to be mine,)
Cause after all they are mine 
Lay your clothes down on the floor 
Close the door 
Hold the phone 
Show me how 
No one's ever gonna stop us now 
(the only thing stopping anything is our own free will. No one controls us)

Cause we are 
We are shining stars 
We are invincible 
We are who we are 
On our darkest day 
When we're miles away 
So we'll come 
We will find our way home 

If you're lost and alone 
Or you're sinking like a stone 
Carry on 
May your past be the sound 
Of your feet upon the ground 
Carry on 

Carry on, carry on

So the last post I did, I gained a comment from someone unwilling to post their name. I love stranger comments usually. Hey, I am funny and I have met other funny people through my blog. This was more of an attack of sorts. A) I was wowed and laughed my sweet round arse off at the instant defense of my character by others through comments. Thank you to the lovely people for hopping to and setting the nameless one straight. I wish you could have seen me smile with each comment posted.
B) I did allow the comment to sting me...at first... But then, I do this thing----over thinking.... Something someone pointed out to me about this time last year. But I get the core thoughts when I over think compared to simply reacting to first thoughts. Take this song for example. Change the spelling of the title and I usually say the word won instead of on. Just to beat around the bush, we will say Carry Won- instead of breaking down proper spelling. I am sure that the poster of the rude comment was either her or someone related to her. 
C) I get it. I'm not mad. Ain't nobody got time for that. And when you live a lie, yourself, you want to feel as if everyone else is doing the same injustice to wasting every single breath of air. Sadly, that isn't how it works. They say the truth hurts- but lies hurt more. Living one must be mental hell.
D) The truth is, if my character were as the stranger commented and all was well on the west coast in this blissful relationship- Strangers would not be taking time away from their happy lives to stalk internet blogs and comment on them when not a single hint or mild suggestion point a finger at what person I spoke of. The comment exists because the person knows who I speak of. She likely looks in his eyes everyday to see my reflection aching like a ring of fire. If everyone online can see and feel it, no doubts the person under the same roof can see the pain caused by holding on to what will forever be only physically and legally her own. 
E) My life has changed a lot in the past six months. I have digressed physically, yet evolved emotionally and mentally. To think of how willing I was to drop everything and conform into the life of the O.W. astonishes me. To pick up, move cross country, sell everything and live in a manner in which her current lifestyle would not have been altered. O.W.'s don't often get that deal. They damn sure expire, as this one has. Not saying I would ever trust jumping, adoration falling to be caught- but if I did, it would take place on my terms and on my territory. And even if it never does happen. It will be a longing that dwells deeper than his eyes for eternity. 
So maybe this post does hold a bit more punch and pun. Maybe I can't PIN HER down and make her stare logic and fact in the eyes. But the ring of fire will always burn...burn...burn...
F) Bitter O.W.'s lashing out make the difference between fiction and nonfiction tell alls that make the best seller lists... Maybe I could get a foreword from Hunter about her time with Edwards... Hmmmm. I do have every detail to back up my story- very well documented. I could likely advertise on Coke cans.
G) Carry on is not Carry Won. Nobody won. Like Matchbox 20 said- "Everyone here is thinking 'bout somebody else."
H)BIC- Keep on keepin on. Legend says if you cannot sleep at night, it is because you are in someone's dreams. I have had six months of sleepless nights.