29.5

As of today, I am officially 29......and a half....

At first, I have to admit, I really did not see it as a big deal....But then, as I held my lower back to get out of bed, with my legs popping and creaking, 29.5 hit me kind of harshly....

I have always looked forward to aging...I think I will do it rather gracefully; at least as far as vanity is concerned.... I have yet to develop a single bit of crow's feet, laugh lines, or age spots- so that is a positive.....But vanity isn't what I ever considered as youth. Immaturity is youth; and now that I only have six short months until the big 3-0.....I's scared, yall!!!

By thirty years old, one should be mature- a true example as a model citizen......By thirty, one should be happy with their needs being met and wants should be something met when you retire.....By thirty, you should know just what you want to do with your life, and should be well on the way of being there....ummmm....right?

Even my husband stated this morning, during my little pre-midlife-freakout that, "Thirty is a new chapter in life; Time to have your crap together.."

A new chapter, as exciting as it sounds, is the last thing I want....I'm still working on the details of this chapter of my life; and lets be honest, I have lots of crap, but I am far from getting it together.....

I still have no clue what it is that I want to do with my life, but in six months, I should be well on the way of being "there"....How can one get "there" when you don't know where or what "there" is?????

I want to be a writer, did that/doing that, I want to be a teacher, a politician (or at least on hell of a politician's wife, haha), a mortician, an actress, an inventor, a night club owner, and the surrogate mother of Michael Stipe's children.....

So...does that mean in six months I should be well on the way to all of these things, or as an "official adult", must I choose one now.....Or should I be a "super duper adult" and forget all of these things and find some office to work in????

What is the big deal about 30? Why is 40 or 50 not so scary? Why am I more concerned about an age where I am to know what I am going to do with my life than a later age when I am wondering how much life I may have left????